Having a think

anorak [ˈænəˌræk] Informal a socially inept person with a hobby considered by most people to be boring.

I’ll admit it, I’m getting a bit obsessed with this whole hobby thing – in fact I think I am becoming a hobbying anorak. If I’m not quizzing people about what their hobbies are, I’m proudly wielding a (quite frankly underwhelming) photo of some knitting to anyone who looks like they’re conscious. Luckily, everyone’s humoring me right now, but I guess I might start to wear thin quite quickly.

And then the dangerous thing started. I started to think. When I was a kid I had hundreds of hobbies. It was almost a full time job, and for the parents ferrying me too and fro, am guessing it was a total pain in the ass.  Why do kids have loads of interests, and by the time they become adults, they have to put boring non-hobby crap on the CV like ‘watching tv’, ‘cooking’ and ‘reading’? < these are not hobbies, they are things everyone does – like breathing or going shopping to Tesco. Oh, I go to the supermarket regularly, better put it down in my list of pastimes. Clearly at some point time & practicality manage to get a foothold and drag us down from the world of infinite possibility – well I say boo to that. I’m starting a one woman revolution.

And another thing (at this point I’m starting to slur and need another swig from the Lambrini bottle). I have noticed that most hobbies I’ve come across seem to be quite solitary activities. Now there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I’m just saying – it’s quite surprising. I think my dream hobby will involve other people, who are just as boring about the amazing world of ***** as me. You have been warned.

And then there was this article from the Guardian suggesting that hobbies are a tell of the socially mobile. Apparently working class people don’t have the imagination or motivation to have a pastime*. Well, let’s see if me having a hobby makes me posher than the Queen then – and I know I’m pretty damn classy already.

Coming along nicely

In other news – here’s the aforementioned knitting progress update. The correct response is ‘wow, that’s great’. If you want to take it further, you can say I’m a natural, or even, and it’s a bit embarrassing for me, but hey, I’ll say it anyway – ‘you’re a genius.’

Viva la revoultion

*ok, I ‘may’ have put a bit of a sensationalist spin on this, but as being balanced isn’t yet a hobby, that’s fine.

I do some knitting

Needle ninja and all round good fun pal, Nic.

Bright and early (well 10am) yesterday, my lovely friend Nic arrived to help me embark on my hobbying hobby. ‘We’re off to get some wool and inspiration.’ Great. That’s my kind of getting cracking – you know the type where you fanny about for a bit first.So off to Andover we went to visit a craft village – if you’re interested, it’s this place.

Pausing only for tea, cake, looking in every craft hut and one toilet emergency*, we emerged triumphant with some rather tasty looking wool. Now at this point, I realise, it’s customary to take a picture of such things, but as I’m a rookie, I didn’t.

Back to the homestead to do some knitting, after calling in for some fresh bread for lunch. Then actually, by the time we got back we needed to eat before starting. But then we were ready.

All apparently essential if I am to succeed.

Nic produced a knitter’s bag for me, a gift bundle of all the things that I could possibly need for a happy and fruitful hobby career on the needles.

Finally, ready, I get to see the pattern. Oh my word. I am not starting with 2 needle knitting. Oh no, I’m more hardcore than that. I am creating my very own pair of wrist warmers** with four fricking needles. Yes, you read that right, FOUR. So, after a shaky start, I soon got into the rhythm of knit 2, pearl 2 (who is Pearl anyway? I bet that stitch was named after a lady who pushed the limits of plain knitting), and actually, apart from changing over on to new needles, which made my knickers go twisty, I seemed fine.

Here’s how pleased / surprised I was to have mastered a single row:

Yes, I’ve made a ‘tache

So with that, Nic departed, and I promptly cocked it up a bit, did a bit more, and actually the thing is going to be pretty ‘unique’, but it’s not that hard once you find your thing. What I am struggling with is remembering to count rows and being able to tell what stitch comes next, once I pick it up again. But, I will post progress reports, if you care, to see how things are coming along.

If you want to see how things should be done, head over to Nic’s blog, where she will show you what competent knitting should look like.

Thanks, Nic.

* 3 year old child + locked toilet = potential disaster

** I know. I never knew they existed either, but come to think of it, I often have chilly wrists.

Anything is possible

So here I am at the beginning of my quest for a past time. Have no idea what’s going to happen, but I’ll have a laugh, learn some stuff about things, and maybe about me too. But hey, that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

I have some idea that I might be utterly crap at crafty things, on account of me having no patience at all, and to be honest, I can’t even trace. But I’m definitely willing to have a crack and see what I’m missing.

I think I’ll be quite enthusiastic about food related things, but that’s based on the fact that I enjoy eating it. However, as anyone who knows me, will agree, anything I cook has the caveat of “it tastes a bit funny” so, lets see if I can change that.

I do quite like a bit of gym activity, and I think that my new hobby might just be something quite physical. Not any of that staying still crap, like yoga. I’m too twitchy for that. Something more like kickboxing. Oh yes, something that will harness my natural hyperactivity.

Also, I like getting dirty. I quite fancy bog snorkelling – so if there’s anyone there who does that, give me a shout, and I’ll join you. Hell, I’ll try most things. Oh except probably parachute jumping. I’m too much of a wuss for that.

So, if you’ve got a hobby, and you think it’s the best thing since sliced bread (or maybe it is slicing bread), I’d love to spend some time with you – as long as it’s legal – just drop me a line.

Fin